Being in my hometown, without my husband, for the weekend was quite a challenge for me. There were a few things weighing on me this weekend. My past, which rears its ugly head most when I am in Ozark. Memories become fresh. Bad choices that were made, feel as though they only happened yesterday. Amazing what little it takes to bring back the past. This is one of the reasons I do not like going there often. Secondly, a little disention between me and my extended family.
So to clear my head, I ran this morning, in Ozark, alone, and down the streets of my childhood, adolescence, and teenage years. Actually fearing that I might see someone who would recognize me and remember me for who I was. I made conversations in my head to explain to them (whoever "they" may be) of what a different person I am today, because of the grace and mercy of Christ. As I ran, I prayed, thanking God for my husband. So much of my redemption has come through him, as God has used him as a tool for such healing.
Many regrets, many good memories, but the good are mostly clouded by the bad. I am reminded of how desperately I need the blood of Christ to cover me; how desperately I need Him to Be with me, walk with me, vouch for me, love me, accept me, help me, and how I love Him so.
On top of all of that, I got to spend some time with my family, who I love so much. We are not perfect, but we are close. Recently I have upset a few, so Thanksgiving was not something I was looking forward to (for all reasons above). But, as always, God was good, and most everyone choose to still love me, even though I do not have the most popular opinion about certain things. A good friend said to me before I left Birmingham, "Go love, and serve". Isn't that what it really boils down to? Not holding on to differences, but to love and serve one another? Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
Emily and Grandmother Brown
Us and Grandmother Bearden (Birthday Girl)
Emily and Poppop
Emily and Evan
Calling Daddy?
The "old folks" table.. :)
Calling Daddy?The "old folks" table.. :)Making Angels
The feast
The Birthday cake
Emily and Evan giving kisses
So what am I thankful for:
*Jesus - His Blood that cleanses my sins
*Holy Spirit - My helper, comforter, and the one who gives me strength
*My Husband - For loving me even though he knows me like no one else does. He knows all of my past, and he still gave God a chance to change me.
*My Baby Girl - She brings me great joy! I think she is a gift from the Lord, and I delight in her (just as Christ delights in me)
*My Fullness Family - and the Freedom and came along with that, community
*My Family - for laughter, beautiful-ness, and great times
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