I have been trying to wrap my emotions around last Wednesday before I typed it down here.
Most of you are already aware of what happened, but here goes:
Ems and I were laying pine straw in the front year last Wednesday when I realized that she had gotten too far and was headed for an area close to our retaining wall (This wall slopes down our driveway and holds our side-front bed and grades from a few inches to 8 feet). So I quickly got up and headed that way without trying to make too much of a ruckus. She got to the wall very fast and began walking on it, then, out of panic, I called out her name, she lost her balance and fell at about 4.5 feet onto the concrete driveway, landing on her head.
I quickly scooped her up (apparently not such a great idea, according to the paramedics), and called 911. She never lost conscienceness, or vomited and cried right away. I held her until the paramedics arrived. About 3 min. before they came, she went limp on me and became very weak and tired. I tried to hold my composure. Once they came, and realized that she most likely did not have a spinal or neck injury, I was relieved, but the weight of it hit me...it could have been so much worse.
We both took our first ambulance ride together that day to Children's Hospital. Once there, they did a CT Scan and found that Emily had a skull fracture in the back of her head. She has had no other side effects to date. As a matter of fact, less than a few hours after the accident, she perked right up and began running around the ER room. She did tell me a few times that "head hurt", and I was proactive with the Motrin, as the Neuro Surgeon said that she would most likely have a head ache for a few days after the injury (no kidding) but might not be able to articulate it.
I am in complete amazement that our Lord choose to scoop his hand down and protect and save our little girl. It is nothing short of miraculous that she did not suffer more injuries than she did. Or that she did not fall from 8 feet high, instead of 4.5 feet. I am humbled by his mercy. I feel like I should have been watching her more closely, better yet, I should have waited to put out the pine straw when she took a nap (as the still small voice in my head told me to do only moments before she got away from me), but all the while God was protecting her, even when I wasn't. It is just a reminder that there will be many, many more times in this life that I can't, or fail to protect her, but God is always there, and He is a better "parent" than me.
Most of you are already aware of what happened, but here goes:
Ems and I were laying pine straw in the front year last Wednesday when I realized that she had gotten too far and was headed for an area close to our retaining wall (This wall slopes down our driveway and holds our side-front bed and grades from a few inches to 8 feet). So I quickly got up and headed that way without trying to make too much of a ruckus. She got to the wall very fast and began walking on it, then, out of panic, I called out her name, she lost her balance and fell at about 4.5 feet onto the concrete driveway, landing on her head.
I quickly scooped her up (apparently not such a great idea, according to the paramedics), and called 911. She never lost conscienceness, or vomited and cried right away. I held her until the paramedics arrived. About 3 min. before they came, she went limp on me and became very weak and tired. I tried to hold my composure. Once they came, and realized that she most likely did not have a spinal or neck injury, I was relieved, but the weight of it hit me...it could have been so much worse.
We both took our first ambulance ride together that day to Children's Hospital. Once there, they did a CT Scan and found that Emily had a skull fracture in the back of her head. She has had no other side effects to date. As a matter of fact, less than a few hours after the accident, she perked right up and began running around the ER room. She did tell me a few times that "head hurt", and I was proactive with the Motrin, as the Neuro Surgeon said that she would most likely have a head ache for a few days after the injury (no kidding) but might not be able to articulate it.
I am in complete amazement that our Lord choose to scoop his hand down and protect and save our little girl. It is nothing short of miraculous that she did not suffer more injuries than she did. Or that she did not fall from 8 feet high, instead of 4.5 feet. I am humbled by his mercy. I feel like I should have been watching her more closely, better yet, I should have waited to put out the pine straw when she took a nap (as the still small voice in my head told me to do only moments before she got away from me), but all the while God was protecting her, even when I wasn't. It is just a reminder that there will be many, many more times in this life that I can't, or fail to protect her, but God is always there, and He is a better "parent" than me.
Cute thing: When we walk by the area where she fell, Emily says "Fall...head"..."mommy". Troy always says, "yes, that's where you fell and hit your head and God saved you. Mommy came and picked you up and prayed for you"...
Obviously, I have struggled with all manner of emotions this last week. Fear, guilt, shame, thinking "what-if", "what-if", "what-if". Several people have prayed for and over me and I finally feel the Lords peace. I still shiver to think what could have happened, but I am resting in the sovereignty of what did, and thanking Jesus for His mercy and graciousness.
Jesus I trust her into your care. Take care of my sweet angel. Give us wisdom to protect her as much as we can, and peace to know that you are always there. All things sift through your loving, gracious hands first, and I trust you, love you, and know that you will always be allowing your will to be done, for the purposes you have planned in our lives.
Obviously, I have struggled with all manner of emotions this last week. Fear, guilt, shame, thinking "what-if", "what-if", "what-if". Several people have prayed for and over me and I finally feel the Lords peace. I still shiver to think what could have happened, but I am resting in the sovereignty of what did, and thanking Jesus for His mercy and graciousness.
Jesus I trust her into your care. Take care of my sweet angel. Give us wisdom to protect her as much as we can, and peace to know that you are always there. All things sift through your loving, gracious hands first, and I trust you, love you, and know that you will always be allowing your will to be done, for the purposes you have planned in our lives.
1 comment:
Carianne, thanks for sharing. I'm sure it was tough to write. But, I sensed you have a great peace and renewed strength about the situation. When you mentioned God's hand that she landed in, you were right! I got chills over that! You are very courageous, dear friend.
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